Full of heart

 Joyous little girls from a shoot I had this season.

After this weekend, it’s hard for me to know what to say about the shootings in Newtown, Connecticut. As we look into the sweet, pudgy, round faces of our own children, we can realize the magnificence of this tragedy on everyone in it’s wake. We all have relearned, once again, the fragility of life’s precarious balance. We are all mourning not only the loss of those sweet children and brave teachers, but the loss of innocence that once was a part of our lives.

All I remember of school at the young age of 6 is the waxy smell of Crayola crayons, construction paper and my #2 sharpened pencil. I remember the exact moment I got to run gleefully free on the playground after the final bell rang at the end of the day – 3:10 PM, moments before we boarded those big yellow school buses all lined up with hopes of warm dinners and cozy fires waiting for us at home. And I remember the sweet face of my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Moore who always sat me in her lap when I shed tears about skinning my knee or missing my mom.

In the tragedy of hurricanes and national disasters, there are clear tasks in front of you. Checklists for clean up and rebuilding shattered lives around you. There are tangible things you can contribute like sheets and towels and canned food and money. But an emotional tragedy like this leaves me feeling a little useless and not knowing really how to help at all…not knowing at all what to give of myself.

I wish we could have stopped Friday from happening. I wish I could turn back the clocks and tip someone off. I wish I could…But I can’t. None of us can. So for now, I will just keep wishing for children to be joyous and free. I will wish that they feel loved and have some understanding and comfort. I will wish that they live every moment throwing fall leaves in the air, skipping the perfect flat stone on a glassy lake, or letting sticky ice cream drip down their lovely little chins. I will wish that the live simply full of heart.

If you are looking for a way to help those coping with this tragedy, there is more information here.


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